Today At A Glance

  • Question: Does Forgiveness Make You Weak?
  • Deep Dive: Forgiveness And How To Forgive
  • What I’m Thinking About: Clarity Is Often A Phone Call Away

reading time: 4 minutes


Does forgiveness make you weak?

If someone hurts you, forgiving them can be very hard to do. When you forgive, it often feels like you condone the behavior or give up control.

Many people don’t realize forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. Instead, forgiveness is for you, and forgiving can improve your life.

In this week’s deep dive, I’ll explain how forgiveness improves your life and how to forgive.

Deep Dive

If you like this week’s deep dive, my full-length video and article go even deeper.

What Is Forgiveness?

Many people don’t understand forgiveness. As a result, they associate forgiveness with weakness. I believe our introduction to forgiveness can cause this problem.

Typically we have our experience with forgiveness when we are young. For example, maybe your classmate stole your lunch, or your brother punched you.

You were likely asked to ‘forgive’ when these things happened and move on as if nothing happened. And it’s the ‘move on as if nothing happened’ part that I believe causes the problem.

Many people think forgiving someone means letting them off the hook and accepting their behavior. They also believe they must keep someone in their life if they forgive them. But that’s not true.

Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. If you forgive someone, that doesn’t mean you condone their behavior or want them in your life.

Instead, forgiveness is for you. Ultimately, forgiving someone is the process of letting go of harmful thoughts and emotions that can take over your life.

Why Is Forgiveness Beneficial?

When you give your attention to being angry or resentful, you take it away from the positive things in life. For example, holding a grudge against your father will undoubtedly affect how you treat your own family.

Ultimately, when you learn to let go of destructive thoughts and emotions, you can focus on the things that truly matter.

How To Forgive

The following two ideas can help you forgive.

1. Consider The Motive

Sometimes people unintentionally upset you. For example, maybe a joke went too far, or perhaps an employee got stuck in traffic.

When you find yourself in this situation, it helps to consider the person’s motive. If you discover that they didn’t try to cause harm, that realization will likely help soften the blow.

Also, remember this. It won’t be long before you make a mistake. And when you do, you’ll hope that others extend the same courtesy to you.

2. Speak Up

In some cases, people won’t realize they’re upsetting you. When this happens, it’s your responsibility to let them know.

When you deliver your message, keep the following tips in mind.

  • Express what you don’t like and how it makes you feel.
  • Explain what you want to change.
  • Make your message clear and direct.
  • Remain calm when delivering your message.

Typically, this type of conversation will help resolve the issue. As a result, you’ll feel better, making forgiveness easier.

Want More?

Check out my full-length video and article on forgiveness.

What I’m Thinking About

Clarity Is Often A Phone Call Away

For a couple of weeks I felt stuck at work. I was overthinking things and was having trouble seeing a clear path forward, so I tried something different.

I called a handful of my closest friends and told them what I was struggling with. Then I asked what they would do if they were me. And their answers gave me clarity.

Ironically, they didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. But the whole experience reminded me of something important.

Once you start overthinking something, your emotions get involved. And unfortunately, you’re emotions can cloud your judgment.

Thankfully, people who aren’t emotionally connected to what you’re doing can see things more clearly. And their clarity can give you clarity.

So here’s my challenge to you. If you’re struggling with a decision, I encourage you to call a handful of your closest friends or family members and ask for advice. In doing so, I think you’ll gain some much-needed clarity.

DISCLAIMER: Please be aware that the information presented in this email is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as personalized financial advice. The creator of this email is not a licensed financial advisor and any decisions made based on this information are at your own risk. It’s important to consult with a qualified financial professional before making any financial decisions, as this information does not consider individual investment goals, risk preferences, or financial situations. Please remember that past performance does not guarantee future results, and all investments involve risk, including the potential loss of your initial investment.


Chris Thornham 80/20 Financial Planner
Take Control Of Your Finances

Reduce financial stress, reach financial freedom, and achieve financial goals like buying a home, paying off debt, and investing for retirement.

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